My analysis of the Nintendo Switch trailer

So the NX was finally revealed to be the Nintendo Switch this morning. Like almost everything Nintendo has done in the past decade, I predicted that it would be shit and guess what, I was right again.

So it starts out in some generic-ass town from stock footage album number 14854 with some jabroni playing the new Zelda game. You’d have to be a jabroni to willingly play that shit.

And so it begins, the gimmick carousel. He starts taking apart the two sides of the controller to turn the ugly as sin thing resting in a gorge on the console to resemble a mock Wii U gamepad. This gives me the impression that the build quality on the damn things is going to be godawful. For example, if the connector bit on one of the side breaks you will be completely fucked to play either side be it the impostor gamepad or the TV form until you buy a replacement that will be certainly overpriced to high heavens. As I always say, “Because Nintendo is Nintendo”.

CARTRIDGES FOR THE FUCKING TABLET. JESUS CHRIST. This isn’t 1996 anymore Nintendo. You lost the console war against the PSX because you refused to evolve beyond cartridges and you made the same mistake again. Because Nintendo is Nintendo. Cartridges that small aren’t even viable because the fuckers always get lost due to how easy they are to fall down something due to their extremely small size.

Huh, has a little pop out the back stand. That’s an improvement on the original Gamepad. It’s not much but it’s something! It’s the little things that brighten up your day at Nintendo events because they’ll shit all over you with the big things.

HEADPHONE JACK! Take that Apple!

OH MOTHER OF GOD WHAT THE HELL IS THIS SHIT. He took off the sides and now they’re wireless nunchuks that look and probably feel awful, especially in a cramped area like the airplane he was apparently in.

Of all the games you could’ve possibly shown to impress people, you chose Skyrim. One of the most watered down RPGs of the decade from five fucking years ago. See, they’re digging themselves into the same hole that they did with the Wii U third party. They’re releasing games that have been out for years that everybody and their grandmother already owns on other platforms (That play much better on the other platforms, I might add) so they sell like shit and then the third parties back out due to poor sales.

Yay, they got the controller layout right this time. They showed off a new one that kinda looks like a One controller from the shot we got of it. Love the joystick layout, only acceptable across layout is the Dualshock.

He pops the tablet back in and OH LOOK SKYRIM IS ON THE TV NOW. What a stupid gimmick, I certainly wouldn’t carry around a Gamepad in my pocket and I don’t think most people would either due to how bulky it is so the whole transfer is pointless.

Oh look, superior Wii U ports. Let’s give people even less of a reason to give a shit about the Wii U. Great job Nintendo, considering that these days your mission is to fuck up as hard as humanly possible, by the end you just might hit the Virtual Boy level!

Oh mother of Jesus H Tapdancing Christ himself. I think we have a shoe-in for the worst controller ever produced by one of the “Big Three”. I need to show you a photo of this shit so you’ll believe it.

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God it’s like I’m retelling a crime scene. So basically what happened is they slid the sides of the tablet off and they started holdng them like they were playing the NES or some shit. I mean, JUST LOOK AT IT. It honestly looks worse than the original NES controller and even that felt cramped. You got presumably six buttons on the damn thing (Excluding D-Pad and Joystick) all crammed into something super small. The thumbs will be constantly ramming due to how close the joystick and the buttons are which is rule #1 on how to fuck up a controller and the D-Pad is the smallest I’ve ever seen (If you can even spot it in the first place, trust me it’s there). What’s with Nintendo’s obsession with making controller parts ridiculously small? It’s probably to match their dick size. Now what really gets me is that they think this will be practical for social gatherings. “Here! Have this ridiculously small controller that can’t possibly play anything other than SNES due to the limited button layout. You have ten seconds to figure it out before Mario Kart starts, have fun!”. What a crock. It’s not like every block will have a Switch corner where some dudes are bro-oping Contra III or some shit. Not to mention that you have to stare at a tiny ass screen to tell what’s going on, like splitscreen on a terrible TV way back when wasn’t bad enough. I tried to play Smash 4 on a Gamepad using a Gamecube controller and I just couldn’t do it because everything was impossible to see and the shaky camera adds extra madness to it so I don’t see how any casual could pick this up and play.

They show off NBA 2K11 or some shit considering that Nintendo is slowpoking third parties. They’re implying that Nintendo fans give a damn about sports which is obviously not true if they’ve ever been around them.

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They show off another form of the controller and I’m surprised. I kinda like this one too. It looks compact but not too compact, has all the buttons you need plus it can play into the whole gimmick of the system when you take off the sides. Gotta admit I’m kinda hankering to try out that one.

They show us a tease of some prototype looking Mario 3D platformer. Out of the Mario 3D platformers I’ve played they’ve all been consistently good (I can’t really consider any of them truly bad which even my favorite game series has at least one bad game). I wanna hear more about the upcoming Mario 3D platformer than this Frankenstein.

The final bit shows off an eSports team going to play Splatoon on the Switch. As if this will ever sell out arenas.

Final thoughts on the 1st trailer:

By God Nintendo, you might’ve outdone yourself in terms of fuckupery. The controller/gimmick is among the worst I’ve ever seen for the Big Three, the third party games are outdated and we know jack about what can we look forward to on the console in terms of games besides a rough prototype of a Mario 3D platformer that might not even exist.

We’ll see how it pans out but in my mind, the gimmick is awful. If I walked into a conference room and I said that the best thing about the new console is that the tablet has a stand and there is a headphone jack, I would be laughed out of the room.

 

 

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Nintendo Direct 9/1/2016 review

I have nothing better to do so let’s review this shit.

Considering that I don’t own a 3DS, I’m already assuming that I won’t give a single fuck about this Direct.

Starts off with a small unfunny segment with Reggie, can’t say much about it besides that they were trying to push the New Nintendo 3DS hard even though it has next to no games.

The Madden of Nintendo fanboys is the first game on the list. Never liked the franchise so I don’t think I’d be the best person to judge this. They talk about the story which nobody fucking cares about because this is Pokemon for God’s sake, everybody knows how it pans out. They once again show off the starters like they did months ago, if you look through the starter Pokemon of every generation you’ll notice they get worse and worse aesthetically every generation and this is no exception. You get a goddamn Kirby looking owl for your grass shit, a Disney villain tier cat for your fire shit and a goddamn circus seal for your water shit. Of course they have a separate soopr sekrit legendary or whatever the fuck per game so you have to go out and buy both for the complete experience. There’s also region aesthetic variants of random Pokemon, all of them show in the trailer besides Vulpix and Sandshrew look like shit. Also Rattatas are now nocturnal in a desperate attempt to make them seem like they’re worth giving a fuck about. Apparently there’s some Z-Moves or whatever where you gotta use your powers along with the Pokemon’s powers, Jesus fuck me dead Christ now even trainers have powers. You get Munchlax for free if you buy it early, remember the days when you got this shit for free? I do. He gets a special Z-Move to when he evolves into Snorlax so you can buttslam Pokeyman.

THE MADMEN ACTUALLY DID IT. They actually had the balls to port another Wii U exclusive to 3DS, it likes they want to lose even more consumer trust then they already have. Surprisingly the Wii U version is superior (I’m saying this because Hyrule Warriors on 3DS is considered the superior port, at least the last time I was bored enough to check) with exclusive features (The Mystery Mushroom and the costumes). You can’t upload entire courses online but rather you can only do it locally via StreetPass and that kind of shit which I think defeats the whole purpose of the game. There’s also a new Collaboration feature where you can upload an incomplete course and tell other people to finish it, basically it’s a feature where you work at Bethesda. This shit launches on December 2nd, 2016.

Another Mario Party game called Mario Party Star Rush. People stopped caring around 4-5, just stop already. There’s a new mode called Toad Rush, based on a character nobody ever liked. I like that they removed the car mechanic and now it’s real time. Kind of strange but hey, it could work. You can also find allies on the map to increase your movement and they earn points for you. There’s boss battles too in this mode but from what I remember, they were already in other games so I don’t really need to talk about it much further. It’s compatible with the Super Mario amiibo and they work differently in each mode. Star Rush and the new amiibo are launching on November 4th. I gotta say I was genuinely impressed by this, it seemed like a real improvement over the past two. I wouldn’t call it a system seller but they’re making a turn in the right direction.

Now they’re talking about Animal Crossing New Leaf out of nowhere because I thought that game was dead, gone and buried. It’s adding in amiibo functionality. Animal Crossing amiibo and cards will of course work but apparently so will some from other series will to. New Animal Crossing amiibo cards are releasing on December 2nd that will bring back old villagers that didn’t return to New Leaf such as Hopkins, Ellie and Boyd in a sort of motor home. There’s now a Nintendo Selects version of New Leaf and a bunduruu called Animal Crossing New Leaf: Welcome Amiibo (Fucking hell what a title) where you get the game plus a card. There’s an Animal Crossing mini-Direct later this fall coming up, can’t wait to review that shit. Basically this was all content that could’ve and should’ve been added for free, instead held back by a paywall of cards and Amiibo. If Terraria can still update for five years, even though it’s just an indie developer and not a massive size developer like Nintendo, Nintendo sure as fuck can do free content as well. Imagine if they updated Smash 4 with a DLC character that broke the balance of the game so hard that it was next to impossible to beat said character, regardless of circumstances to the point where entire countries were banning said character which led to the developer having to come back just to fix this bullshit, oh wait that already happened.

Now they move on to another Reggie segment, acting like anybody above the age of 11 will give a single fuck. Bill Trinen is back and they act like anybody cares.

Streetpass Mii Plaza is getting an update. There’s now a Quick Plaza mode where everything moves faster so you can get back to whatever the hell you were doing at that time. Now you can encounter up to 100 players with the Streetpass feature at the Plaza gate. Five new Streetpass minigames are getting added. You can download Slot Car Rivals or Market Crashers for free. If you take advantage of the free download you can get the other four in a discounted bundle. It launches (Or launched depending on the time I get this article done) shortly after the Direct. What a crock of shit, they’re charging for what are basically Mario Party-tier minigames.

There’s a new IP for 3DS called Tank Troopers. They couldn’t even be fucked to have non-Japanese footage. The unique thing about this is depending on what troops you have in your tank, you get different abilities. There’s a “freeze attack” that doesn’t seem to do shit in terms of freezing, might as well be a flamethrower. Some paintball ability that looks about as useless as the Blooper in Mario Kart and some thunder guy that stuns tanks, gee this ability totally can’t be exploited. There’s six player local and online play. Balance issues aside (Not really even that much, considering we don’t know the details as to how often these abilities can be used) it looks like decent fun. It’ll be releasing on the eShop this winter.

Picross 3D Round 2 got announced. Now blocks can be painted to reveal more complicated designs in more than 300 puzzles.There’s amiibo compatibility to get special puzzles (Gotta push our plastic on-disc DLC). There’s a demo available right after the Direct. It’s out today on the eShop. Can’t say much about it because I don’t have any experience in Picross games.

Nindies Summer Jam was announced, a new indie game fucking nobody cares about every week for this month at a discount. Starts today with Axiom Verge, a game so forgettable I had to check twice if I was spelling it right.There’s a contest on Twitter going on for two weeks where you can enter for a chance to win all five games made by nobody developers and an opportunity to curate your own content shelf on the eShop, like anybody cares. There’s also an event tonight at the EMP Museum called Nindies@Night from 8PM to 12AM or go to the Nintendo Indie Lounge during PAX West from September 2-4th from 12PM to 9PM or September 5th from 12PM to 6PM to try 13 unreleased indie games including Runbow Pocket and Punch Club. There’s apparently going to be free shit so check it out if you’re there.

Reggie shows up to boast about the 30 year anniversary of the Legend of Zelda, meanwhile Metroid had a 30 year anniversary in 2015 and got shat all over in one of the worst E3 reveals of all time. He advertises the NES Classic Edition so you can “relive” the original even though it’s been rereleased so many times you probably already have it and you don’t know it yet. They’re also releasing a new line of amiibo of the series for it’s 30th anniversary. 8-bit Link (AKA a 3D version of the original Legend of Zelda sprite), Link from Ocarina of Time and a Toon Link and Toon Zelda 2-pack. What a great way to shit on an anniversary, use it as an opportunity to push your physical on-disc DLC. They’ll work like a regular Link and Zelda amiibo and will have “special features” (Codeword for “Locked behind a paywall”) in The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Dark Horse Comics is planning on releasing three graphic novels as a part of the 30th anniversary, pretty funny how the best thing to come out of this anniversary isn’t by Nintendo. The first one will be called Art & Artifacts featuring over 2,000 illustrations from the Legend of Zelda series, you can pre-order it now if scalper scum haven’t already bought them all. The Legend of Zelda: Symphony of the Goddesses continues until December 10th. The Legend of Zelda Skyward Sword is releasing today on the eShop, making it the one and only Wii U game announced thus far and it’s not even a new release. Now he’s talking about The Legend of Zelda Wind Waker HD coming to Nintendo Selects, which we already knew about.

Now he starts talking about hardware with a New Nintendo 3DS XL Galaxy design, like anybody fucking cares. There’s also gonna be a New Nintendo 3DS bunduruu with Super Mario 3D Land and some plates.

Another skit, who cares.

Now he starts talking about Hyrule Warriors on 3DS, further proving my point that it’s superior on 3DS. It’s a new DLC pack including Toon Link with a Sand Wand, the train from Spirit Tracks and a playable Toon Zelda. All I can say about the new Toon Zelda is that she sounds annoying as fuck. There’s a new Adventure Map too. It’s called the Phantom Hourglass & Spirit Tracks pack available today along with a season pass for all four packs that’s at a discount.

A new Ace Attorney game was announced. The plot seems interesting where seances determine the fate of the defendants, I’ll have to check this series out sometime. I have some of the games but I never sat down and played them. Ace Attorney: Spirit of Justice will be launching on September 8th on the eShop for 3DS.

Those bastards had the nerve cockteased Mother 3, and I quote “There are a ton of RPG fans out there waiting for a certain Nintendo 3DS game”. Turns out to be the rerelease of Dragon Quest VIII releasing sometime in 2017. They talk about the rerelease of Dragon Quest VII as well with new content via Streetpass and online. If you prepurchase the Dragon Quest VII rerelease you get a free Dragon Quest VII 3DS theme, launching on September 16th.

Now they move onto Yo-Kai Watch 2, a Pokeyman clone to cash in even harder, except nobody fucking cares about it. It’s basically Pokeyman so there’s not much else I can say. The original production run of the two versions comes with a medal that you can use to give one of the damn things in the game a new move, again it’s basically a paywall. The demo will be in the eShop mid-September and will release on September 30th.

More Disney bullshit that nobody cares about. This game is called Disney Magical World 2. If you pre-purchase the game, you get free Frozen outfits to continue beating the dead horse. They’re talking about DLC before we’ve even seen a second of gameplay. It’s available for pre-purchase on the eShop and select retailers now. I don’t know a damn thing about this game besides how I can pre-purchase the game for extra shit, if that isn’t the perfect symbol of the modern game industry, I don’t know what is. They finally showed us some gameplay and I have no clue what is happening because they don’t explain anything. I don’t know what genre it is, I don’t know the plot, I don’t know how to play it. It’s a clusterfuck of a “sneak peek” that only makes me raise more questions than getting them answered. There’s so many random gameplay elements on the screen with no text describing it and so many different licenses bombarding the gameplay that I really couldn’t tell you what is happening even if I was at the top of my game in amateur journalism. There’s so much shit floating around near the end that it’s probably up there with the most nonsensical game trailers I’ve ever seen, past releases or future releases. There’s also a whole bunch of Disney 3DS themes releasing.

Now they start talking about Sonic the Hedgehog, at this point Sega as a whole is dead, gone and buried let alone Sonic. They start talking about Sonic Boom Fire & Ice after months of the development being quiet, they didn’t talk about much of anything besides 2 player competitive modes. It’s launching on September 27th, 2016. The NA launch edition comes with a DVD with three episodes, ironically you can’t even play the Sonic Boom DVD on the Wii U.

Shin Megami Tensai 4 Apocalypse was shown off. Apparently it adds a new side to the story or some shit. Never played the series so I can’t have a say in this. The first run of the game will come with some medal set. Releasing September 20th.

ANOTHER. SKIT. NEXT.

THEY DID IT AGAIN. ANOTHER WII U PORT. This time it’s of Yoshi’s Woolly World. They even had the nerve to add extra content to render all purchases of the Wii U version completely obsolete. There’s also new levels based around Poochy plus Poochy Pups to make it easier to find collectibles and shit.They’re also doing animated shorts with the stop motion company Dwarf, 30 of which will be included in the 3DS version. There’s also gonna be a Poochy Yarn amiibo with an ass scanner (Dead serious). The now titled Poochy & Yoshi’s Woolly World will be releasing on February 3rd, 2017. There will be a special bundle of the game and amiibo.

Now they’re moving onto a game called Ever Oasis. Made by the fuckers that brought you the Mana series. Even though it’s an ARPG, this doesn’t appear to be the “Kill, loot, repeat” style of Diablo. Seems like a mix of town management, puzzle solving in dungeons and Ni No Kuni, definitely an odd mix but it seems interesting, I’ll have to keep my eye on it. It releases whenever the hell in 2017.

Now they showed off Mario Sports Superstars, like anybody cares. It’s a minigame compilation of golf, baseball, soccer, tennis and horse racing. Basically it’ll be shit because they have to split development up, sacrificing quality. Launches in Spring 2017 for all you masochists out there.

PIKMIN OH FUCK. It seems to be a 2D platformer now. Call me crazy but it looks kinda neat, gives me sort of Kirby Mass Attack/Mario vs Donkey Kong vibes. I like the idea of a mixture between fast action and strategy so you have to think quick. It’s releaseing whenever the fuck 2017. Seems like a game to keep an eye on, even if they didn’t show us much this Direct, 90% of it was stuff we already knew about the series.

One last skit, gave me a little smile this time around.

Verdict:

While the Wii U ports were a massive “FUCK YOU” by Nintendo to Wii U owners, this direct wasn’t as bad as the last one I reviewed. There was a fun surprise at the end plus some games that look cool.

The major concern for me is with the NX. It’s supposed to be launching sometime in the spring and we still don’t know a damn thing about it unless if you count sketchy rumors. This lack of info plus a launch closing in is a recipe for disaster. Give us info and soon Nintendo.

I’d give this Direct a 5.5/10. There was a lot of bullshit and a lot of shit nobody cares about but some gems and a great surprise.

 

Smash drama part two: FAQ

Alright, today I felt like answering some questions that get commonly asked by my circle of friends about the Smash drama between me and Dare2dream along with his stooges.

“Let’s say you bought a new GameCube controller and trained, why would you still refuse to go to PNW Smash 4’s events?”

Well there’s a ton of different ways I can answer that question, some of them leading to another question but I’ll answer them anyway because recently I’ve been getting back into writing.

Firstly, it’s that I have no way to access information as to when the events are happening due to my ban. I’m not going to ask around because I have no real friends in the Smash scene, at least nobody I could talk down to earth with, y’know. They’re just acquaintances at best, besides Dare and his stooges, I don’t know anybody outside of a simple hello. It would be useless to attempt to find somebody who knows the schedule because 90% of the scene hates me, usually out of fear of getting banned by the stooges.

Secondly, I will not support any sort of PNW Smash 4 event, regardless of how convenient it is to travel to or how widely available the schedule is simply because the way they’ve treated me is deplorable. Until justice is dealt, these people are not worth my time, money or energy. It could be across the street from me and I still wouldn’t bother because I know that they’ll immediately throw me out because I dare to question their authority.

Thirdly, let me make this very clear, the chance of seeing me in any sort of tournament is slimmer than Ganondorf ever being higher than low tier. I have a load of frustrations with Smash 4 as a game and not just the community. I only returned to the scene now because I felt like it was the right time to get the word out as to who Dare2dream is. I have no intention of entering competitive Smash 4 for several reasons (The local community, my broken controller, the only characters I’m comfortable playing as being shit tier, the amount of time/money it takes to actually go to one of these events considering my wealth and the travel). At very best you’ll see me as a guy in the background commenting on the scene, but even that is slim because I really don’t care about Smash 4 outside of the regional level. I’ll probably move on to bigger and better things once this drama clears up. I may one day make a surprise appearance at a non-PNW Smash 4 related event but don’t count on it.

“So let’s say one day you do take an interest in playing competitive Smash 4, can’t you just hide your identity”

This isn’t WWE. I’m not Kane, if I showed up to one of these events I’d be more like Mr. America. You can’t just “hide” your identity because of social media and all that. Once somebody says “Hey you got a Facebook/Twitter/blog/whatever the fuck, I wanna follow you”, the cat is out of the bag. That kind of question is a catch 22, if you tell the guy that you have one of those, everybody knows your identity. If you deny that you have any of those, people get suspicious because everybody and their dead cat has one of those and they start investigating. This has happened before, go look at SuperBoomFan’s alias of FalcoMaster3000. He made one appearance and people still managed to find out who he was, it would probably be the same for me if not quicker if I made frequent appearances because of the drama. Until the drama clears up to the point where I can guarantee my physical safety should I show up to one of the events, there is no way I’d even show up in a Barney the Dinosaur costume to “hide” my identity. In this day and age, it would only be delaying the inevitable.

“If you’re so concerned about these stooges as you call them, why haven’t you named names?”

Even though they do not respect my right to free speech, I respect their right to privacy. I will not be naming names of anybody that isn’t notable enough to have their own SSBWiki page. I will not encourage witchhunting these people by any means which is why I have not named names, even if I post Facebook screencaps or chatlogs, I will blur out the names of the stooges. If they have a name they would like to use in place of their real names, I will happily oblige. The only reason why I’ve named Dare2dream is because he has a username, rather then me only knowing him by a real name. Unlike Dare, I will not act like a child thinking that my friends and fanbase is my personal army that I can turn on anybody that dares to disagree with me. It’s foolish and destroys privacy.

“If you don’t care about competitive Smash 4, at least not anymore, why the hell are you even here?”

Because I feel like justice must be served, considering that nobody has the balls to show the world who Dare2Dream is, at least to this scale instead of just the random “Yeah he’s an asshole” comment. I made this blog so I could speak my mind with zero totalitarian moderators to stop me and I will use this ability to say stuff that I was not allowed to say by those moderators, such as the /r/gamecollecting story and the Smash drama. If Dare never started shit, I probably would’ve just gotten bored with Smash 4 and more on, now I exist to inform the public as to who he really is. I feel like it’s my duty to talk about controversial topics in gaming that would otherwise be censored if I wasn’t the only person in control (Which I have always been the one owner and writer for this blog). Even when corruption doesn’t affect me, I still chime in because I believe that it can and will spread to other platforms if it is successful. The phrase “It doesn’t affect you or me” is a complete fallacy if said thing is successful. I don’t do this for the money, I do it because nobody else will tell it like it is.

“If your GameCube controller was replaced, would you 1v1 Dare2Dream?”

In all honesty, give me a few months to train and I would at least consider it. I would train for this one match. It would be on my terms though, not his because as I’ve stated in the past two posts, I believe that he is corrupt and has stooges in power as his puppets. I can’t trust him with setting up a match because I’m certain that he’d try to swing it in his favor. I wouldn’t consider it a “feud ender” because this is a war of politics rather than a war of ability in Smash but it be a fun side show event, regardless of who wins. It definitely wouldn’t be a M2K vs Armada tier match in terms of ability but hey, it would be a fun showcase of a small feud. That being said, out of the characters I’ve tried I’m only really comfortable playing as either Wario or Ganondorf leaning more towards Ganondorf so I’d probably lose in matchup alone considering the fact that Dare2dream is a Fox main but again, it’s just a shits and giggles event and it doesn’t really matter who wins in this scenario. Basically it’s a salty suite except nobody gives a fuck about anybody involved and the results don’t matter.

“If Dare were to go national, how would you stop it?”

At that point, I wouldn’t be able to which is why I’m giving it my best before it’s too late. If I were to talk about his corruption while he’s at a national level, my comments would be drowned out in a sea of other comments. Meanwhile in the regional levels, it’s just me and I’d estimate about a half dozen other people that have heat with Dare vs him and 2-4 stooges. Both of these sides have zero influence because it’s a keyboard war at best, petty banter at worst. In short I want people to know who he is before I get drowned out if he went national. I would only be a drop of rain in an ocean at that point.

“Why do you call Dare’s allies ‘stooges'”

You see, there’s a difference between ally and stooge. The ally will defend the person being attacked in a debate using credible sources and sound logic and reasoning. The stooge however does not bother with the debate at hand against who he is defending, usually resorting to ad hominem fallacies, blocking/banning allowing for no counterargument or blatantly lying with zero credible sources. Take for example one of the stooges that said that Dare is a “really honest person” when the very first thing he ever did to me was lie, of course resorting to blocking when I’m proven to be correct.


I hope this FAQ has cleared up some unanswered questions. Feel free to leave more questions in the comments or my email if you wish to remain anonymous.

My callout of Dare2Dream

You know what? Fuck it. I’m angry tonight due to internet drama and I’ve been wanting to get this off my chest since goddamn January due to the sheer amount of bullshit I had to put up with in such a short time. Due to Dare picking up speed in this area, I want to let people know who he really is before he hits a national level.

If you aren’t involved with the Smash community, this post will mean absolutely nothing to you and you’re better off doing something else. I promised myself that I wouldn’t get involved with the local Smash community ever again but fuck it, justice needs to be dealt and if none of the morons in the community are going to deal it, I might as well do it considering that Dare2Dream sabotaged my Smash 4 career since we first met.

Now to get things started, I got a Wii U on Christmas day 2015. I wanted to re-enter the Smash community on a fresh new start even if Smash 4 isn’t that great compared to Melee or even Brawl. I could meet people, get back into streaming, fun times. I’ll admit that I wasn’t very good at Smash 4 in the short time I was “active” in the community but I still tried to learn stuff.

So where does this Dare guy come in? Well, I joined a local Facebook group in November or so from what I remember. I thought “Hey, this seems like a great idea. I can meet people locally, find out what’s going down and who’s who plus learn shit”.

Bad idea. One of the first things I did was ask for advice on Wario. Dare was one of the first commenters with blatant bullshit along the lines of (From memory because I’m not a neckbeard that screencaps every little thing) “Wario is a defensive character”. Now come on man, I’ve played Wario ever since I bought Brawl back in 2008 and even me in my limited knowledge of how Smash 4 works would tell you otherwise. He’s a floaty guy with one of the best airgames out there, you’d be a fool to waste your time running away playing cat and mouse to build up Waft (Which from my experience in 4 had godawful hitboxes) when most matches end in three minutes or less (Two wafts at best which need I remind you that due to shitty hitboxes, they usually don’t work leaving you wide open for attack due to the lag). I called him out on it and he threw a hissy fit over it, I’m not sure if it was then or later on that I got banned, my memory is fuzzy but from what I remember it had something to do with me and Dare over game mechanics. Might’ve been the Wario shit but long story short I was banned from the group even though I was never informed of the rules. Dare being an admin, it led me to believe that he was directly behind it to silence people that disagree with him. He blocked me on Facebook to, just to make sure I wasn’t allowed to debate his holier than thou rule over the PNW Smash 4 community.

So one day, they let me back in because they realize “Oh right, the ban was bullshit”. I go on the Discord but apparently Dare is an admin on there at least from what I remember. Because there were NO rules posted at the time (No sticky, no little bar, no nothing) so I thought “Hell yeah, anarchy”. This was the same day Bayonetta released so I decided it’s time to rant because at the time, you could very easily perform 0%-20% 0-deaths using Bayonetta. That’s horseshit balance that could kill the game if it’s not dealt with (Which it was dealt with, for the record. One of the few times I’ll ever praise Sakurai). I was tearing it a new ass, saying how there isn’t a single character in the game (At that point, this was around January) that could perform 0-deaths so easily. It was literally an automatic “git gud” package for just $5.99. Obviously people were chiming in to debate me which I’m fine with, after all, anybody with critical thinking skills should be able to back up the shit they say. Ranging from rational “It’ll probably get nerfed” to the immortal words of Bladewise which are so fundamentally retarded that I’m giving it a quote section, much like I did for the Funko scalper article. For anybody that wishes to do so, you can engrave this onto my tombstone because it’s so legendarily stupid that it’s become an inside joke in my group of friends.

“20% KOs aren’t that bad” – Bladewise in January 2016 in the PNW Smash 4 Discord

I know we’re getting off track but let’s just take a moment to admire the sheer ignorance of this quote. Even little five year old me playing Melee would call you out on this. 20% KOs aren’t normal even in the most heated competitive matches of all time. It’s insane to hear this coming out of a “professional” Smash player when even the most casual of casuals know that’s bullshit. At bare minimum in competitive you’d need 50% or so unless if the opponent was a jobber vs God himself or sandbagging.

Anyways, back on topic. So I basically ask Bladewise what universe did he come from where 20% KOs are remotely considered acceptable in the balance and then Dare steps in. He said that if I continued, I would be banned for “character bashing”. I told him to go screw himself, I have my 1st Amendment rights and even if I didn’t there were NO posted rules to the Discord at that time so he’d just be pulling shit out of his ass as an excuse to ban me for petty vendettas. He still went through with it even though it was blatant corruption and anti-freedom of speech, as I’ve said.

Did I mention that he also banned me for “insulting people” (I insulted Dare and Bladewise from what I remember) while he was insulting me behind my back? He called me an idiot, saying that I don’t listen to advice (Probably referring to his Wario thing, which I don’t listen to advice that’s factually wrong) while everybody else laughed along. This normally wouldn’t bother me because banter is banter but this man doesn’t even follow the rules that he made (And like I’ve said, never even posted).

His stooges agreed with him on my banning because they’re just that, stooges. They want fame any way they can. I won’t name names outside of dare2dream because there’s only one confirmed stooge and I only know his real name, not his Smash name and posting real names on my own site would be extremely disrespectful to the man’s privacy so I’m just not going to name him. You know who you are and you ought to be ashamed of yourself for not only participating in the corruption against god knows how many other new players but agreeing with the man behind it to gain fame, we talked on a few occasions and you insulted my main, never insult a man’s main when you’ve never seen how they play. There are some “uncertain stooges” but I will also not name names on them because I don’t want to put heat on somebody I’m unsure of. Even though this is pretty much a burial, I want to keep this on a rational level and not tinfoil hat.

That was the end of my short lived Smash 4 career, ruined by one man with a petty bullshit vendetta to make his ego grow. So now, onto you Dare.

You are a lying coward, both you and anybody in power that supports you. No, I will not “money match you $20” because you are not worth my money or my time (Keep in mind I’ve have to drive at least an hour or two just to play one match with this guy, plus my GameCube controller is broken at the moment and I don’t want to risk giving this man $20, if anything he should be paying me for the mistreatment I received) due to your treatment of me. I have never felt so disrespected by game admins in my life, even in my years of Minecraft I got better treatment than I did in one month in PNW Smash 4. Completely thrown out the door of the scene with no legitimate reason as to why (Again, no rules posted in the Discord), simply to boost a man and his army of stooge’s ego. If this were a PM to you I wouldn’t even bother because for one, you block everyone that dares to not take your shitty ass adminship and two like I said, you aren’t worth my time. I want to make this post so your associates know who you really are. You aren’t some holy moderator that wants the community to grow, you want one of two things. You want unconditional agreement with your actions and for everybody that dares to disagree with you to be banned forever (Including myself, as I was banned).

You lie to new people so that you can remain in power and don’t follow the rules that you pull out of your ass to ban people for literally anything, even when it’s benign like criticizing balance. You’re a coward because you ban anybody that disagrees with you, preventing any sort of debate because you don’t have the critical thinking skills to back up the shit you pull out of your ass. You aren’t a “community maker”, you only got into power most likely by sucking the dick of some other higher upper and now you expect everybody else to suck your dick for basic tolerance, you were the stooge.

I wouldn’t normally make posts about this, just move on but like the /r/gamecollecting moderators, you made up bullshit to ban me and I want to clear my name and expose you for who you really are. Consider this the roadblock between you and national because somebody had the balls to call you out on your shit rather than your yes men stooges unconditionally agreeing with you in fear of getting banned for saying otherwise.

If you grow a pair and want to talk this out, I have my contact email on my about page. I’m willing to debate as I’ve gotten better at it over the past year. Like I said, I will not money match you for several reasons (Broken controller, time it would take, haven’t played Smash 4 in months) nor will I talk this out on your terms because I have no guarantee that you won’t just turn around, block me and start spreading bullshit. As it stands, you are what I say you are, a lying coward.

Competitive players, promoters, whatever. Hear my words and know who this man is before he gets into your admin seats.

Dokta’s Actually Awake Trip to Eastern Washington

After waking up at 3:30 AM, me and my homie let’s just call him Hunter embarked on our trip at around 9:30 AM after I gave him some doubles I got from my Toontown Rewritten mailer. After that, we realized that we forgot some shit and went back to the house, while taking stops on the way to fill up on gas and shit.

The main thing I wanted to accomplish this trip was finding two Pop exclusives, Flocked Dug and Clark Kent. Considering that these were Hot Topic exclusives, I expected it to be absolute Hell on Earth. People fistfighting over exclusives, some crackhead in the corner rocking back and forth chanting to bring Satan to Earth, absolute anarchy.

The first stop people give a shit about on this trip was a Goodwill, the same one we first stopped at on the original trip. I picked up MGS2 because the disc was in good condition and it was only $2. Hunter however had a total field day, he picked up Twisted Metal Black (Because I’ve been recommending this game. Play it. All of you), Grand Theft Auto Liberty City Stories for the PSP (He’s apparently been wanting to play this game for ages) and Showdown Legends of Wrestling (He collects wrassling games, even the shitty ones). He also got a VHS of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog, he’s a big fan of the franchise so he collects the VHS tapes of Adventures of Sonic the Hedgehog. Hunter may’ve won this battle, but I won the war of Day 1.

So once we showed up at the mall, we went to Barnes and Noble first because one there were some Sesame Street Pops I’ve been looking for and two it would at least test my hunting skills. So when we asked the lady where the Pops are, she appointed us to a small stand, about the size I’d expect from a bookstore selling these damned things. Nothing I cared about on the surface, only exclusive I could find was some Game of Thrones bullshit until we noticed that there was more right at foot level. We started crawling and to quote Jim Ross, the only thing that I could think was “GOOD GOD ALMIGHTY”. The Sesame Street exclusives were all there! The whole trio, I picked up Flocked Bert and Ernie, I don’t give a damn about Elmo. There’s some box damage on Ernie but he was the only one there, you gotta deal with it.

The next place we were going to (s)hit up was Hot Topic. I expected it to be complete shit with no exclusives left, I was very pleasantly surprised. When we got there, they were fully stocked in exclusives, they even had one SDCC 2016 left (Pajama Jack if you’re curious. I would’ve picked him up if I wasn’t low on my budget). So I grab my Flocked Dug and Clark Kent gleefully as I expected nothing to remain of the stock because the last time I checked on Pop Price Guide (Keep in mind I am typing this from our cabin at 9:43 AM) were going for $20 a no pun intended pop. Hunter wanted this Sailor Moon Pop but it was way up there, he couldn’t possibly reach it even though he’s around 6 feet tall. I swear, the fucking Pop shelves there are so tall you could probably hold a WWE ladder match fighting over the exclusives. We made a plan, Dad handed Hunter a pair of glasses to try to nudge the Sailor Moon Pop off the shelf so hopefully we can grab it before it falls to the ground. Before it was nudged out, an employee came running to stop our admittedly stupid plan, he grabbed a ladder and got it for Hunter, his first Pop. I told him “It certainly won’t be your last” when he bought it.

At this point because I’m low on budget, I wasn’t looking to help myself as it would only land me deeper in debt. I decided to help Hunter in his hunt for the Nick and Judy Zootopia Pops, even though they are cheap according to Pop Price Guide, Hunter has apparently never seen them before and in all honesty, neither have I. After getting a lead from a Gamestop employee, Hunter said it would be a good idea to check the nearby Toys R Us. After asking the lady for the Pops, she appoints us towards a shelf full of random shit. There were some My Little Pony exclusives but who honestly gives a damn. There were no Nick and Judy Pops but I swear, there were at least 10 Ultimate Warrior Pops, rotting away on the shelf much like the Ultimate Warrior’s poorly aged legacy. I would’ve bought Space Ghost and Bray Wyatt while I was there but like I’ve been saying, I was low on cash. Hunter ran off to the DVD section while me and my Dad were wondering “Where the fuck did Hunter go”. He managed to find the Steven Universe DVD that’s been so hard for him to find that he thought it didn’t exist. While in the checkout, I noticed that they had posters available for goddamn Fallout 4 and Five Nights at Freddy’s. What I don’t get is that they’re selling posters to M rated games plus Pops of goddamn Space Ghost in a kid’s store. Maybe I’m just going Pat Robertson mode, I don’t know. What really made me puzzled there is now the Toys R Us employee is telling us to look at Gamestop.

So we went there because it was nearby anyhow (Convenient placing, probably working together to get business but that’s just me tinfoil hatting). Nothing really of note besides Megaman exclusives, Hunter said “He’ll get them later” but he doesn’t realize that two weeks is two years in the land of Pops.

Now I swear we spent more time in traffic then we did actually doing shit. All of our asses hurt so much we could barely walk, just being allowed to stand in a parking lot was amazing to feel.

We finally reached the cabin at around 6:30 PM. We had a dinner consisting of colby jack and ham sandwiches, pastries and grapes. I swear I was going insane up there, it was so fucking hot that I only wore my underwear, plus I had to stay up for 21 hours because I couldn’t sleep for several reasons (Heat, Dad’s concert and paranoia). Me and Hunter were up at 10PM-12AM (Who the fuck knows man) banging around trying to hunt the rats that have been bugging the cabins for years stealing people’s smaller items. We didn’t find it but Dad said something that got a good laugh out of me. “With you two raising hell those rats are probably miles away”, Dad has always been quick witted like that.

Anyhow, when we finally managed to get some sleep, I woke up at 9AM or so and we had the same stuff we had for dinner to save some cash.

We went to Goodwill once we got our shit together. What always freaks me out about the nearby Goodwill is that it looks exactly like the local one, only with better stock. They were having a sale on games so I picked up The Mark of Kri for PS2, Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell for Xbox (For experimentation with hacking and for the actual game) and Ninja Gaiden for the Xbox all for $2 each. I stumbled across a VHS for TMNT Out of their Shells tour and showed it to Hunter because I remember watching videos of it and it was in the so bad it’s good territory. We rock-paper-scissor’d over it because we both wanted it with Hunter winning. Hunter picked up Dead or Alive 3, Tekken 4, Return to Castle Wolfenstein and 007 Everything or Nothing along with the VHS tape.

We went to Fred Meyer because it’s nearby the Goodwill trying to find the Zootopia Pops Hunter wanted. All we could find were the Disney Infinity Nick and Judy which were too expensive for Hunter’s tastes.

Besides that, unless if you count the ice cream at Micky D’s, we didn’t do much of note though Hunter found an old Coke bottle in the cabin and his family collects old bottles and shit like that so he’s keeping it.

I wish we could’ve spent more time actually doing something rather then in traffic but I guess it makes those Pop exclusives sweeter. Good trip, wish my back didn’t hurt so much after riding around for so long. I still had fun even if it fucked up my sleep schedule, like it even existed in the first place.

Meet the scalper scum that scalp toys for their own selfish desires

Original article

So today is my one year anniversary of being the owner of Dokta’s Reviews, I was burned out on writing for a while but today seemed special so I decided to give it a try again. Oh man am I glad I made that choice because I found this article. You see, I usually don’t find writing opportunities through field research, they come and find me, this article being an example of that.

For some context, resellers are easily in my top five most hated things on Earth. My hatred for resellers has existed for at least five years now when I found out about their existence in my time in game collecting. I believe their career to be unethical and subhuman for many reasons that would honestly take up an entire post just talking about that so let’s just move on to the article.

My problem with the article is that it makes the resellers out to be the victims. Like they are doing it because they are “addicted” to comic conventions, which anybody with any sense in their head would call that out to be bullshit. If they had mental issues with addictions to these conventions, they would and should seek mental help immediately. So let’s critique this shit.

Comic-Con is expensive. There’s the cost of the ticket — $245 for the whole event, pretax — then there’s the cost of transportation, parking, lodging, and food. And once you’re finally inside, there’s the countless number of con-exclusive props, artwork, and toys staring you down, begging for you to make a purchase. For a serious geek, it can really add up — to more than $1,000 for five days.

I’m not going to lie, this is the one hundred percent truth. There’s tons of conventions I’d like to attend but I probably never will due to the costs.

But a lot of collectors have figured out a way to offset their costs and make some extra cash while they’re at it: toy flipping — buying the con’s hottest items, immediately putting them on Craigslist or eBay, and selling them off before the con is even over.

I don’t refer to them as “collectors” for a reason. There’s a huge difference. Collectors enjoy the hobby, collect the item (Be it games, movies, figures, stamps, etc) and would never even dare to think about scalping for their own financial gain. Reseller scum however couldn’t give less of a shit about the actual hobby or even other people as shown by their selfish habits and instead seek to hold said items for ransom for their own financial gains. I don’t care about how big of a “scale” you’re on whether you “just flip a couple things to finance the hobby” or you’re big time, you are still reseller scum and until you change your habits, you will always be reseller scum.

“You gotta pay off your addiction somehow,” Andrew Felin told me. Felin is one of several collectors I met outside the booth for Funko, which makes a popular line of figurines with oversized heads. It turns out, it’s easier to find someone in the Funko line who’s flipping toys than someone who isn’t. Toy resellers, Felin says, are probably “50 percent, maybe more [of the people who] come through here.”
As far as I’m concerned, this is no addiction. You happily plop down hundreds, if not thousands of dollars to go to these conventions and you have failed to seek mental help if it really is an addiction. You aren’t somebody going through a rough time or you have a mental problem, you’re just a fucking asshole that wants to take advantage of people. You want to have your cake and eat it to by going to these conventions and taking figures out of the hands of people that deserve them to pay back your own debts due to your reckless travels to these things. Nobody on Earth is forcing you to go to these bloody things so don’t you dare try to make yourself out to be the victim. If half of the people going out and buying these convention exclusives are flippers, we need harsh rules and enforcement to protect these things from them.
Felin’s point — that he’s just paying off his collecting habit — is something I heard time and again from resellers. Sure, some people were just in it to make a quick buck (or a few hundred, or a few thousand). But a lot of people first and foremost saw it as a way to get them through the con.
And guess what? Real collectors don’t need to exploit other people to support their collecting habits, they go out and get a job like any other non-leech of society. Maybe you should get a job and actually do something productive for society rather then dumping thousands of dollars into conventions and forcing yourself into situations where you have to exploit others to pay back the debts YOU accumulated. I want to empathize the YOU part because this article makes resellers out to be the victim.
“My goal is to earn back what I spend for my ticket, my food, and basically other exclusives that I wanted for myself, so basically it becomes free,” said a reseller who goes by Dee D. He flips Funko figurines and Lego, and sees the surcharge he adds on as a reasonable price to be paid for his time. “Sometimes the buyer is like, ‘This is only 15 bucks, why are you selling it for 70 bucks?'” Dee D said. “I’m like, ‘Dude, were you here at midnight sleeping on the ground?'”
Double D, did Eddy send you out on another money making scheme? Is that why you’re flipping? All jokes aside, he’s still trying to make himself out to be the victim. There is absolutely nobody forcing you to flip things at midnight, you are not under contract, you chose this as your lifestyle, a life of exploitation and selfishness and you have the nerve to wonder why people are angry? You are not “providing me with a service” (Common reseller argument) because I did not personally hire you to sit in line for a figure I wanted. In reality, you are holding figures for ransom to exploit the people that could not afford or had the time to go to said convention for a high markup thanks to your “service” you oh so proudly boast about that once again, nobody but YOURSELF has forced you to do.
Dylan Najor, who was buying up items at Funko, told me he’s putting in $2,000 and expects to come out with $5,000. The second he walked out of the Funko line with two large blue bags packed with toys, an older man approached him and began making a deal. After inspecting the products, the man counted out a series of $100 bills, totaling over $1,000. “I literally just doubled my money,” Najor told me. He immediately left to attempt to sneak back into the Funko line and buy some more.
Once again, having your cake and eating it too. Not only have you already made a considerable profit off of your leech-like practices, you don’t even obey the far too carefree rules by trying to sneak back in to make even more money. This is why doing this type of shit should be criminal, it’s far too easy to exploit and it exploits the common consumer base for their own selfish gains. I don’t even need to debate this shit! The evidence is all there, what this man did is literally criminal.
“I consider it to be a huge issue and morally dubious to put it very kindly,” said Ben Ellmann, who was about an hour and a half into his wait in line for a limited edition Mondo poster. “Because you’re making buck off of someone’s genuine love and affection for something. You’re buying it cynically to make buck off of someone’s love and passion. It’s truly disgusting in my humble opinion.”
Well, that dude just put it into words much quicker and more civilly then I ever could so I’d consider that the short answer as to why reselling is so bad.
But it’s hard to imagine a way to stop flippers. Everything at Comic-Con is about who can line up first and who’s willing to put in the most time to get what they want. So if people really want these toys, someone else is always going to be willing to put in the time to buy it first. Plus, there are people who aren’t even at Comic-Con who are willing to pay a premium to get these items, too.
No, if I can come up with a system to stop them, anybody can. Just put some laws in place so if you’re spotted offline or online price gouging even in the case of hobbies, you’re jailed with a minor offense like sentence, with the money you earned and the thing you are flipping confiscated. Blaming the people buying is ridiculous because like the guy said, you’re cynically selling it to make a buck off of somebody’s love for it.
Of the flippers I asked, most said they didn’t feel particularly bad about taking items away from collectors, particularly since they were often collectors themselves. “Sometimes I don’t even get what I really wanted and have to pay top dollar for it,” Dee D said. “That’s how the system works. You put effort into getting that line and getting that item.”
Considering that you don’t even feel guilt for taking away items from collectors, you have revealed an example of your subhuman traits, a lack of empathy for others. Considering that you creatures don’t even go under the same rules as law abiding citizens do, it’s no longer about “putting in the effort”. If you’re breaking the law to make a quick buck and then complaining about entitled people not putting in the effort, all of your defensive arguments might as well be void. Why should I give a damn about your “service” and the same tired, old defense you pull out of your ass every time somebody has the balls to call you out on your shit when you go out of your way to exploit fans and break the law to make a quick buck.
The other parts of the article I can’t really comment on because it states pure fact so it would be pointless to include.
So my opinion on this article? Fuck it. Fuck the writer, fuck the scalper scum interviewed, the only person involved with this article that had a shred of decency was the guy that had the balls to tell it like it is about scalpers.
I’d go into detail about why I hate scalpers so much but it’d be so long that it would at least double this post’s length and I don’t have time for that today. Maybe some other time, I dunno.
Happy one year anniversary to myself and thank you to my fans for supporting me over the past year!

Sony E3 2016 Report/Review

Field report:

Starts with some orchestral stuff. Off to a real slow start.

THE CURTAINS OPEN, IT HAS BEGUN. Some kind of viking like trailer, not sure what it is. KRATOS OH SHIT. Some kind of over the shoulder God of War game, when I think God of War I think KUHRAYZUH combat, not Last of Us with Kratos. At least that’s what it feels like. At least they’re showing actual gameplay. Seems like an odd turn for the series, needs to be crazier. Just doesn’t have that God of War feel. Might as well called it Cabella’s Big Game Hunter Featuring Kratos from God of War.

A Bend Studio game is getting showed off, a neat looking post apocalyptic game called Days Gone, not much but a teaser.

Another teaser for fuck know’s what. Last Guardian it seems, good to see this game got revived a year ago, looking prettier then ever. Apparently now there’s more then one, funny because the title. It’s releasing October 25th.

Horizon Zero Dawn gets a trailer, a story based one with some gameplay, exactly what I’ve wanted. Some neat looking crab robots are here to hunt, I was impressed with the game last year so I expect for this to be no different. A new type of robot appears, corrupted robots. Goes down in a few seconds. Apparently this game has a dialogue wheel like Mass Effect, pretty shitty if you ask me. Fuck God of War, THIS is the hunting game I want. You can now even hijack the robots to ride them, really cool mechanic. Man this game looks like my shit right here, there’s more to it then just hunting, which is what I was hoping to see out of this demo so that’s great. Brilliant gameplay they had on there.

Quantum Dream shows off their new game called Detroit, couldn’t give less of a shit because it’s barely a game. Some Android detective storyline, would be neat if it was a real game. Basically Nick Valentine: Sony Edition.

PS VR game time. Oh god, looks horror like, I don’t need a jumpscare at this hour. Turned the sound off for my own sanity, better safe then sorry. OH FUCK A DUDE WALKED IN THE HOUSE, IT’S HAPPENING FOLKS. Sorta reminds me of P.T with surveillance for some reason. OH SHIT, THAT’S RESIDENT EVIL VII. Releasing January 24th, 2017.

The guy starts boasting about PS4 being able to handle PS VR. On October 13th, PSVR will release for $400. 50 launch titles.

Some exclusives for PSVR start up. One by Impulse Gear, some guy in the desert wandering around with a gun shooting drones and giant enemy crabs (Sorry). A game called Farpoint.

VR STAR WARS. Star Wars Battlefront VR X-Wing mission. Looks awesome.

Some kind of Batman shit. Batman Arkham VR, no gameplay. Coming as a launch title.

Some Square Enix stuff. CHOCOBOS IN FFXV. Dunno why this is in the VR section. Releasing September 30th I guess. Wait, there might be some VR shit, oh hell, there IS VR. Not very impressive if you ask me, just FPS type shit in FFXV (Literally, just shootan things).

Whatever this is, shit’s weird. Can’t tell what it is, some kind of space game in VR #59684658, as if there aren’t already enough. This has gotten interesting with the gravity aspect of the FPS, I take what I said back. IT’S FUCKING COD? Holy shit, that really impressed me. They show of the remastered MW1 campaign too.

CRASH MOTHERFUCKING BANDICOOT. Crash 1, 2 and 3 remastered along with a Crash Skylander. I’m not a fan of the series from what I’ve played but I’m glad the fans are getting what they want.

Another fucking Lego game. Lego Star Wars The Force Awakens this time around. Who cares to be honest, it can’t possibly top Crash. The demo is first on PS4.

KOJIMA. Norman Reedus is given another shot at the game. Not sure what to think of it, Kojima trailers are always a bit on the weird side. A game called Death Stranding, centered around oil it seems.

A SPODERMIN GAME. Hopefully just as good as Spiderman 2, though that hope is long dead.

Days Gone live demo. Been wanting to see this game because I liked the teaser. Seems a bit too linear for my tastes, at least in post apocalyptic games. Seems like Uncharted in a new setting. I like how they use to orchestra to build up the atmosphere of the demos.

And that’s a wrap.

Review:

This is a pretty solid show. Crash was a real showstopper but other then that and Horizon, I can’t think of anything overwhelmingly good, like a true E3 moment. Days Gone impressed me until I saw actual gameplay and then I got bored because of how linear it was. The Spiderman trailer is too short to really review it. The Kojima trailer was too vague. Lego Star Wars ate up time when nobody gave a shit about it plus God of War taking a pretty odd turn and it felt like it was over way too quick, considering that Ubisoft went on for two hours, why is this over in one? Did I mention all of the VR shit nobody will care about in a year?

Either way, a Crash comeback was incredible even if I’m not a fan, plus some awesome Horizon gameplay, B- showing.